This is resonant and so well-said. I'm struck that much of what you describe is what I've always thought of as my personal brand of "community for moody introverts" (like me.) Less obligation. More situational high-fives.
I am going to be thinking a lot about this distinction between community for community sake and mutuality. For me, there is respect in mutuality for all the ways one might be sad, quiet, over it, needing things that are not necessarily company, or even proximity. Sometimes community is overwhelming and boring and irritating, but I find that there is a spiritual practice in the obligation, too. So chewing on that part of your wandering and wondering here.
As I mature in my aging I have come to realize “ it takes a lot of energy to be me”. I have denied myself the necessary “alone” time delivering on taught expectations.
This is resonant and so well-said. I'm struck that much of what you describe is what I've always thought of as my personal brand of "community for moody introverts" (like me.) Less obligation. More situational high-fives.
I am going to be thinking a lot about this distinction between community for community sake and mutuality. For me, there is respect in mutuality for all the ways one might be sad, quiet, over it, needing things that are not necessarily company, or even proximity. Sometimes community is overwhelming and boring and irritating, but I find that there is a spiritual practice in the obligation, too. So chewing on that part of your wandering and wondering here.
As I mature in my aging I have come to realize “ it takes a lot of energy to be me”. I have denied myself the necessary “alone” time delivering on taught expectations.