This is resonant and so well-said. I'm struck that much of what you describe is what I've always thought of as my personal brand of "community for moody introverts" (like me.) Less obligation. More situational high-fives.
I am going to be thinking a lot about this distinction between community for community sake and mutuality. For me, there is respect in mutuality for all the ways one might be sad, quiet, over it, needing things that are not necessarily company, or even proximity. Sometimes community is overwhelming and boring and irritating, but I find that there is a spiritual practice in the obligation, too. So chewing on that part of your wandering and wondering here.
I am always chewing on the spiritual practice of choosing to be responsible for one another but not obligated to one another. And I often come back to the core value of the Christian faith which, as I understand it, is friendship. I think of Jesus's love letter to his people when he said, "I no longer call you servants, but friends." I love how even God seems to long for mutuality over duty--perhaps, even acknowledging that what starts as the latter can miraculously turn into the former with time. This gives me hope in my humbug season. ;)
As I mature in my aging I have come to realize “ it takes a lot of energy to be me”. I have denied myself the necessary “alone” time delivering on taught expectations.
It does take a lot of energy to be me! And, as an empath, even more energy to be solidly me rather than a we. Thank you for your good words, Irene, and the reminder that alone time is necessary and subversive. I hope more is in store for us both.
This is resonant and so well-said. I'm struck that much of what you describe is what I've always thought of as my personal brand of "community for moody introverts" (like me.) Less obligation. More situational high-fives.
YES THIS.
I am going to be thinking a lot about this distinction between community for community sake and mutuality. For me, there is respect in mutuality for all the ways one might be sad, quiet, over it, needing things that are not necessarily company, or even proximity. Sometimes community is overwhelming and boring and irritating, but I find that there is a spiritual practice in the obligation, too. So chewing on that part of your wandering and wondering here.
I am always chewing on the spiritual practice of choosing to be responsible for one another but not obligated to one another. And I often come back to the core value of the Christian faith which, as I understand it, is friendship. I think of Jesus's love letter to his people when he said, "I no longer call you servants, but friends." I love how even God seems to long for mutuality over duty--perhaps, even acknowledging that what starts as the latter can miraculously turn into the former with time. This gives me hope in my humbug season. ;)
I've never heard anything articulate the core value of the Christian faith that way! Wow.
As I mature in my aging I have come to realize “ it takes a lot of energy to be me”. I have denied myself the necessary “alone” time delivering on taught expectations.
It does take a lot of energy to be me! And, as an empath, even more energy to be solidly me rather than a we. Thank you for your good words, Irene, and the reminder that alone time is necessary and subversive. I hope more is in store for us both.